Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to blog. I have never considered doing it before because, well, I hate the word blog and my life was pretty boring, busy, but boring nonetheless. All of that changed when I got my crazy 30 dates idea. I am now using my iPhone calendar to help schedule my dates and I am starting to get used to the word blog after all. This idea came to fruition the weekend before last, although it was an idea in the making since July. I still wonder what in the heck (and if I cursed, that would have been a good time to do so) I am actually doing. I am also a little bit nervous about comments. I have read blogs before, mostly just ones that people share on facebook, but I always cringe when I read the comments, because people can be mean. I am nervous my intentions will not fully shine through and my sarcasm might offend people. I just do not have the time to re-explain myself after each blog post or defend myself from each nasty comment. So let’s just hope that is a problem I do not have to deal with.
A Little Background:
Those of you that really know me, know that I have not dated much. I could probably count on my hands the number of guys I have gone out with and half of those, I wasn’t sure if it was really a date or not. I would say I have averaged less than 2 dates a year since moving to South Carolina. I could blame a lot of factors for this. One, I didn’t really want to go out with the graying 45 year old car mechanic that asked me out my first year down here, mind you I was a lot further from 30 at the time. And two, I didn’t want to go out with the 55 year old with a cane (although to give him some credit, he told me it was because he had just had surgery, what do they say down here?, bless his heart!) who I met at the library, that asked me to go see a movie after I helped him up from getting a book from the bottom shelf. You don’t even want to know about three and four.
But in all seriousness, while the above two incidents were very real, the main reason is because I just didn’t meet men very often. And sometimes, when I actually did, I put way too much pressure on myself in regards to the first date. I was on my guard the whole time, I was nervous that if I flirted, it meant I wanted to marry him. I was scared that if I didn’t laugh at his jokes, he would think I didn’t have a good sense of humor, but if I did laugh, he would think he was funny. I was apprehensive about what I shared with him, yet asked him a lot of questions to see whether our entire belief system seemed to align. Then there were times that just after two dates, I had to have, what I call a “break up conversation” with him, even though we never started a relationship to begin with. Whew, I am worn out just thinking about it all again.
Then there were the guys that just didn’t seem to notice me, he didn’t notice my smile and inner workings of my mind, silently begging him to ask me out. Wait, what? Guys can’t read our minds?! There were a few other “hang out” times, when I hoped I would get a call for another date, but it just didn’t happen. Needless to say, dating just wasn’t my thang, folks.
So enter my idea and here we are. When I was telling my best friend of my idea, she asked me the time frame. I told her, that 30 dates BEFORE turning 30 sounded pretty catchy, which then led me to calculate that I would need about 5 dates in a month. She looked at me and busted out laughing. 2 dates a year to 5 dates a month, I could feel a brand new woman slowly approaching.
Obviously, in order to get 30 dates in less than seven months, I needed to join a dating website. I cannot believe that I have spent the past few years singing the tune, “Where have all the single guys gone?” when quite frankly, I now know they are all on eharmony. I set up an account and arrived home to spend two hours of my night responding to messages. For some reason these past few weeks, I have completely forgotten what GRAD school homework looks like. And this blog sure is not helping with that amnesia. Now would be a great time to mention that I am telling these guys about my little 30 dates plan.
This is part of my profile:
“Okay so here is the deal…By nature I am not a very adventurous person, but since I am turning 30 soon I figured now is the time to try something out of my comfort zone. Some people climb mountains, run marathons or go swimming with the sharks. Me on the other hand, decided I will go on 30 dates before my 30th birthday. I spent my 20s focused on my job and ministry and did not date often. So now is the time. Are you willing to be one of my 30? Or am I crazy?”
So there you have it. 30 dates before 30. It all began with date number 1 this past Saturday. I will share more about these dates the next blog post, cross my fingers, tomorrow, because then I have two more scheduled this weekend and I can’t get behind on updating everyone. Just don’t tell my GRAD school professors. I already have learned quite a bit. About men. About myself. And about dating in general. So more to come on all of that as well.
When I write about my dates, I will just share some details about the date and about what I am learning along the way instead of my inner most feelings and thoughts towards the guy. I want to try my absolute hardest to portray these guys in a positive light. They are so sweet to be willing to take me out, all while knowing that I will be planning different dates, with different guys, for the next 6 months. You may ask, “So how will we know if you meet, Mr. Right?” And basically, what you have to remember is, if that is the case, I will scream it from the rooftops – so don’t you worry.
I will also answer the question, “So what happens if you meet someone you really like on date number, say 7, will you still go out with 23 more guys after that?” However, now is the time to end my very first blog post. I kinda feel like patting myself on the back. I read somewhere, or maybe this is just my own wisdom in my head (sometimes I get those two confused), but after blog posts get to be a certain length, people quit reading. I am neglecting some eharmony mail right now to be writing this, so I can’t afford to have people quit reading. Seriously though, thanks for your curiosity. Thanks for caring. Thanks for your support. It means the world to me and I just began this journey.
30 and counting down. Until tomorrow.