Backup Plan: Date Number One

On eharmony, you send questions back and forth to one another until eventually it opens up into an email stage. One question that I usually ask right before eharmony unleashes us into the gates of unknown is if they saw my profile and what their thoughts are on my 30 dates idea. It is very interesting to read the responses. Of course, my favorite responses, are ones that fall along the premise that they think it is a wonderful idea. Here are a few responses that I have received so far regarding that question. The responses I typed under each quote, are just my thoughts, I didn’t use those exact phrases to respond to them.

“Sounds like fun. Nothing to lose but an evening of time! I am sure it will be a great tool for you as you mentor young women.”

Thanks for already seeing character in me to think I am capable of mentoring young women.

“Meeting new people can be good, and challenging and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone in order to grow and experience life, is almost always a good thing.”

“I think you shouldn’t get disappointed if you don’t make it to 30 dates before you turn 30. It’s not about quantity, but quality. ūüôā And something tells me you’ll be going on plenty of dates pre- and post- 30.”

Not sure what that “something” was, but I think he got a few points for that.

“So is that 30 dates with 30 different people or what? But as to how I feel about it, I am a youth pastor so I am a little crazy to start with.”

“My Dad told me that the only way I’m going to find out what I really want in a lady is to date more often. I think that it’s a good idea as long as you are safe. It takes much courage to do what you are doing. That shows me that you are special. Hopefully you will pick me…”

Way to go in bringing up your father, wise man he seems to be. Oh and thanks for calling me special.

One guy, the best communicator so far, actually commented about it before I even had a chance to ask him. He filled in a multiple choice question with a free response instead of choosing a multiple choice answer and then added the following to the end of his response:

“BTW I think¬†your little dating¬†experiment is¬†AWESOME! Even if there’s no chemistry I’d be honored¬†to be 1 of¬†your 30 dates! Certain we’d have a great time regardless. =]”

See why he is my favorite?

Then there was the response below, pretty witty.

“Well one date with me and you will cancel this. Lol I think it would be hard to find 30 decent candidates.”

The funny thing about the quote above is that it came from the guy that was supposed to be my first date. He did a great job of getting the ball rolling and asked to go get coffee the following weekend (which was last weekend). After a bit of self questioning in my head, “Self, are you really sure you want to follow through on this idea?!” I said yes and we planned to meet at 8. However at 6, he emailed and cancelled due to a bad headache from allergies and he said, and I quote, “hope we can reschedule, later{enter in the name of the guy who I thought was witty, but now I am thinking chickened out to be my first date}. My first thought was you could at least apologize, but then I realized that I didn’t care. Not even one inch of me felt bad about being cancelled on. For once, I didn’t do the “girl thing” and overanalyze it. I didn’t wonder what I must have done wrong, if he was telling the truth or if for some reason he got another date¬†that was better than me.¬†Instead, I wrote him back and told him I hoped he felt better and that he could contact me when/if he wanted to reschedule. I haven’t heard from him since.

So instead of jumping in the shower, I decided to settle in for a night of correspondence via my laptop. Then an email popped up, from that “crazy” youth pastor and he was wondering if I wanted to get together tonight at 8! It was 7:15 already, what was he thinking? I guess he was crazy.¬†But then again, I didn’t think either, because the… what I will refer to myself as… the “20s me” normally would have thought to myself, “Oh no, if I respond now and say yes, he will think I don’t have a life.”¬†But the newly “about to be 30 me” responded and said sure! But I pushed it back to 8:30, since I had yet put on an ounce of make-up for the day. Not wearing make-up may have to be saved for the next decade, the “I am 40 and just don’t care me.”

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would have a backup date after a guy cancelled on me.

So, enter, date one: (sorry it has taken so long to get here…)

date one

He suggested we go putt-putting. Which may I add, several other guys, okay just three, have already told me that they thought that would be a good first date experience. I am not jumping for joy at the idea of playing miniature golf, but I see the justification of why guys are gravitating towards that idea. We are going to need some more date options though people. I can only take playing putt putt about once a month, if that.

Anyway, when I arrived, he was already waiting for me at the entrance, it was 8:29. I love that he was early by the way, or at least there before 8:29. It was very nice as the woman, to walk up to the man already waiting on her. I tucked my cell phone in my¬†purse and hid that in the backseat of my car, but grabbed my credit card and placed it in my back shorts pocket – just in case. I thought leaving my cell phone in the car was a good idea at the time, I wouldn’t be tempted to check my text messages. However, as I am typing that now, I realize that I should probably have my phone on me at all times, you know, just in case things get too crazy and I need a quick escape.

The first thing I said was, “Way to take the initiative in asking me out tonight, I am proud of you!” He smiled and asked how I was. We walked in and I explained I had never been there before and he said the last time he was there was in 2010. “So do you take all of your first dates putt putting?” I asked.¬†He laughed and said no and it came out that we were both each other’s first dates from eharmony. I told myself I was not going to tell the guys what number out of the 30 they were, but I had just accidentally spilled the beans. An hour of mini golf consisted of me getting a hole in one, him winning the game by 4 and both of us becoming a lot more comfortable with each other. It was a bit hard to carry a conversation though, when one of us was constantly bending down to get the ball. Although, I must say, I was not nervous at all. I thought I might be, since it was the 1st first date, but I found myself trying to be the one to make him feel comfortable. Since the game ended after only an hour, I told him I was kind of hungry. I was just giving him a nudge not to end the date after just one hour and saving myself from playing another round.¬†He asked me what I wanted and I asked him if he was hungry. He shrugged a bit and said, “yeah, I guess a little.” Which started making me feel a little self conscious. Note to guys ( I wonder if guys will read my blog), if you don’t want the date to end, then the answer is, “Yes, I am hungry, that’s a great idea, let’s go get something to eat!” I suggested ice cream and we took off towards a nearby ice cream place, in our separate cars by the way.

While we were in line for ice cream, I offered to pay, but he insisted that would not be necessary. Point for crazy youth pastor, since I was already feeling a bit guilty that I was the one that suggested we go eat something.¬†We spent the next hour talking outside the ice cream shop and he did a great job carrying the conversation, or maybe it was me carrying the conversation, regardless, the conversation was carried. After that hour, I thanked him for being my first date, I thanked him for paying and we both left. That was the best ending of a first date ever! We didn’t need to talk about if we were going to see each other again, he didn’t ask for my number and there wasn’t an awkward hug. Later that night, he emailed me to make sure I got home safe and said, “We should do that again sometime!” I emailed him back and told him I did get home safe, but left out a response to his second part. Not because he wasn’t a great guy, but because I have 29 other dates to plan.

Now this post is even longer than the first and I am staying up past my bedtime two nights in a row. And..I haven’t even answered the question of what I was going to do if I found Mr. Right on date number ___(fill in the blank). That will be next post with date number 2, which was the following day. I am not saying date number 2 was “Mr. Right,” I am just saying I will answer the question in that same blog post.

29 and counting down. Until tomorrow.

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2 thoughts on “Backup Plan: Date Number One

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