I think I might have mentioned before that up until this blog post, the dates that I go on do not know I am writing these posts. And unless for some reason, we have mutual facebook friends that I am unaware of, they have not seen the write up about the date I had with them. However, I have also stated that if for some reason, one day, they happened to stumble across this blog, that I would not be embarrassed to have them read what I have written. I want them to know how appreciative I am of them being on this journey with me. Each and every single one of them. I’ve had more fun going out on dates with these guys than ever before in the “dating world” – or lack there of – because the pressures that I usually built up within myself are non-existent. It has literally been a freeing experience.
One eharmony email communication towards the beginning, looked a little like this:
My first question to him: “Did you see in my profile that I would be going out on 30 dates, how do you feel about this?”
His answer: “I see the good that could come out of it as it can demonstrate to others that you can date in a healthy way. However, my question for you is this… how about if you meet your guy, the one you feel you’re going to marry on date 3? Of course, I would not want to be a part of an experiment, to be just a number. I think it’s better to give each date a chance, to see if something significant comes out of it. Personally for me, I’m not looking for the maximum number of dates, but am looking for significance. If that happens on date #1 or #30, that is irrelevant.”
There in lies the problem eharmony guy, if I go out on each date trying to find “the one” or what you would call “significance,” then I freak. myself. out. So I responded to him:
“If they were date number…say.. 10 and I really truly knew that I didn’t want to go out on any other dates without him, then I would ask him to take me out on 20 more dates to finish out my 30 🙂 However, it may take more than one date for me to know if I want to marry the guy or not. I think you and I might be on two separate pages though, and that is okay, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, so it is okay if you want to end our communication with this.”
His response: “Thank you for your frank and candid reply. It would be easy for you to just hit 30 dates, but you are actually putting in some work into these responses and it really shows. Thank you. There are several blogs all over the internet about how women write up and journal about their 30 or 50 dates. Their quest doesn’t really have a purpose except just to have fun and experiment. Yours sounds entirely different in that you want to demonstrate to others that you are not going to just settle for the first guy that shows you attention, many women should learn from this. Your approach is unconventional, but the heart behind it really shows. Therefore, I would really want to know more of this heart.”
Well, that wasn’t hard to convince him that what I am doing may not really be as crazy as it sounds. But wait, he said there were blogs all over the internet? So this isn’t an original blog idea? Bummer. Bubble busted.
So, I mean, I HAD to tell him that I AM in fact another one of those bloggers. He pretty much forced me to tell him. And after I told him that…”yeah, I mean, maybe I am doing a blog, but only because my friends ASKED me to”…he was actually okay with it and just asked that I don’t use his real name. But, he is from a city about 3 hours away, so I am not sure how this “date” will work and if it will actually ever come to fruition. So far no plans have been set with this one.
Enough of that, on to date seven! Date seven was a bit different than my first six dates because we were set up through his grandmother. This has not been the first where I have had a grandma try to set me up with her grandson, mind you. But I consider it such an honor every single time, okay it’s only happened twice. My “old 20s me,” would be very hesitant to say yes to set ups like this. I used to get very scared that if I didn’t “click” with the guy immediately after a first date, that I would offend whoever set us up. I know they say it wouldn’t matter either way and you might as well take the chance, but who can tell a grandma [or an aunt or a best friend] that their guy was just not my knight in shining armor? Previously when people I knew set me up, after the date, I would just be as vague as I possibly could about my feelings. Sometimes I actually had a great time and would want to go out with them again, but I just didn’t want to say that to our mutual person, because what if it got back to him that I loved him and wanted to marry him like tomorrow or something?!
These whole 30 dates thing has made it so easy to say yes. So yes, Grandma, I would love to go out with your grandson. Grandma and I attended a bible study together a few years back and we still keep in contact through facebook, hence the reason she knew about my new adventure. She had her grandson add me on facebook and he said he was willing to take me out. But now, here we are, the first guy that is willing to go out with me AND knows I blog about each date. In fact, he could have actually been reading each one all along! He didn’t tell me if he did or not. I almost asked, but I felt too badly to make him admit one way or another. I mean my thought is, how could you NOT read blog posts by a girl that you knew you were going to go out with in a few weeks time?! So I assumed he had read them. But then he asked me a few questions during the night, that I would have thought he would have known from reading my posts, so maybe he hadn’t read them? Or maybe, he was just striking up conversation, when he didn’t know what else to say. Who knows – the mystery of men.
Because Grandson was a connection through someone I actually knew in “real life”, I decided to actually give him my address when he told me he would pick me up for our date. I figured if he wasn’t safe, Grandma would have to live with that on her conscious for the rest of her life. I am kidding, because this woman is one of the best people that I know. She is sweet, kind, compassionate and so very loving. In fact, no matter who she meets, they walk away thinking that she loves them just as much as their own grandma. I have nothing but respect for this lady, so I was excited to meet her grandson and I trusted her completely. Plus it was actually very nice to be picked up for a date again.
When he arrived at my house at 7pm, I opened the door and invited him inside. The first thing I noticed was that he was definitely southern. From his hair and sunglasses all the way down to the loafers he was wearing, which he eventually later admitted to me that he had to borrow from one of his family members. He had left his at home. He originally grew up in my town but now lives more than an hour and a half away. He had driven in the night before and was staying with family in the area. He was a bit more dressed up than my other dates and looked adorable. He wore khaki pants and a suit jacket. For a split second, I wondered if where we were going meant I should be ashamed of the jeans I had on. After an earlier debate with my best friend about wearing boots (my choice) or a pair of summery TOMS (her choice), I was glad that I had chosen the boots, because it dressed up my outfit just a tad bit.
Grandson was very outgoing and confident, which is always a good sign for a first date. He bent down to pet my dog, complimented me on my home décor, and asked if I was ready to go. We walked out of my house, he opened the truck door for me (of course he had a truck), I climbed in and pushed over a camo visor (I think that was what it was). See told you, southern. I wonder what he thought of my northern accent? I never thought to ask him. After about a 25 minute drive, we arrived at the restaurant which was most definitely one of the nicest places a date has ever taken me. The atmosphere was beautiful because it was right on the lake. The hostess asked Grandson if we wanted to eat inside or outside and he said outside without even consulting me. I actually liked that he made the decision without asking, it was a no brainer, but it showed that he can take charge and make decisions. I would have chosen outside anyway, just in case you were wondering.
Eating out on the back deck overlooking that view, literally made me feel like I was in a Nicholas Sparks movie. Because it was now full fledge October weather and the sun had been down for awhile, I started to get a bit chilly. I blame the sweater because it wasn’t keeping me as warm as I thought. Grandson noticed and immediately volunteered to go get a jacket that he had in the car. I hated to make him go back to the car, so I was trying to be tough, but he went out to get it anyway. Good move. I was certainly grateful for it by the end of the night, even though it did cover up my favorite sweater.
Shortly after we finished eating, Grandson asked if I was ready to go and we left. For some reason I left not feeling “lively” enough for him. As we were walking out, I literally told him I was probably too boring for him. He agreed, said he was just kidding and that he had a good time. I don’t know why I had this sinking feeling that he regretted going out with me. Maybe it was because on the way home, for the first half of the ride, we didn’t really talk. He played the radio, changed the stations back and forth, sang along to some lines and I looked out the window. I was literally thinking, “Get with the program here and start a conversation that will interest him!” Maybe it was because it was a Sunday night and therefore a school night for me, maybe it was because he seemed a bit more adventurous than I was – but I hated to think I disappointed him. He was so very sweet to be willing to go out with me, drive into town the night prior, take me to an awesome restaurant and pay for me. When I finally did speak up, it was to tell him to take a different way home to my house than the way he was headed. I said it without thinking and then I chided myself for giving a man directions in a town he grew up in. I apologized for telling him what to do and I eventually got myself together and started a meaningful conversation about 8 minutes before arriving to my house. When we pulled up to my house, I thanked him for taking me out and he said, “No problem, I had a blast!” I actually turned to him and said, “You did?!” I am still not sure if he was lying about that one, but it at least allowed me to walk into my house that night, content that maybe he didn’t regret his decision to take me out after all.
So thank you Grandson for going out of your way to take me out on a date, I am not going to be so naïve to think that you are not reading this right now. I actually hope that you cared enough to want to read this post, but then again, we have the mystery of guys to factor in. And thank you Grandma for trusting me enough to go out with your beloved grandson. I know grandma’s are protective over their grandchildren, so thank you for basically arranging this date for us and respecting me enough to introduce us. I know you are reading, because you read them all, and I love that about you. You have been such an encouragement in my life, even though it has been awhile since I have been able to actually hug you in person. So consider this a virtual hug. I appreciate you so very much.
23 dates and counting down. Until next week.