Date eight was great and sticking to the rhyming theme, I am sorry this post is so late. I am really apologizing to my date for the lateness, because if I were on the other side, I would have been checking this blog every single day since our date last Sunday. So if he is anything like me, I am seriously sorry this has taken so long to write and secondly, I think that is adorable that you were checking.
My week has been crazy in my professional life and after some very long days, I would get home and ask myself why in the world do I think I have time to date?!
Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Then again, people do, lots of people make time for that. I have so much on my plate right now, that at times I think about giving up these 30 dates, well 22 now. But then I realize I am doing something for me for a change. To be honest, I have felt a tad guilty going out on dates, knowing full well that I have assignments that have not been started, papers that have not been graded and lesson plans that could be greatly improved. But in the end, my conclusion is, that this is okay. It is okay that I am focusing on my personal life for once. I put that aside for the past 7 years of living here. The papers will eventually get graded, my assignments will eventually get turned in on the due date (not to say that I won’t pull my hair out for waiting until the last minute), and my desire to be a better teacher will always be there.
The reason that this guy knows about my blog is because I had a friend who asked me if I would be willing to go out with one of her friends. My first question was whether or not this guy knew about my 30 dates. It’s not like I would be dishonest, if I went out on a date with someone who didn’t know about my life goal, but for some reason, I feel more comfortable if they know. Maybe I will re-evaluate this for the future, but for right now, this is how I am doing things. She explained to me she had sent him a link to my blog. I gave her permission to pass along my phone number with the message that texting is way easier with my schedule. He texted a few days later.
His first text said, “My friend told me about the dating adventure you are taking on. I think it’s an awesome and brave thing you are doing. Would you be interested in making me one of your 30?” 🙂
That was cute, wasn’t it? He was already a winner in my book. The problem was my upcoming weekends were booked. I felt like a horrible person, “Ummm, sure you can be one of my 30, what does your schedule look like a month from now?” He seemed cool with it, which earned him the nickname Mr. Go With The Flow. That nickname seemed to fit him even more after our date.
Last Saturday, I already had plans with my best friend to attend a concert at the fair and I certainly wasn’t going to change that to fit a date in. Like I said, I have been having fun going out with these guys, but nothing could ever replace a night with my best friend. Even though, I am pretty much being myself on these dates, hanging out with my best friend is second nature to me. I do not have to think about what I say or do and things are just easy. Many times people ask me what I like to do for fun. And believe me that question is pretty common on first dates. The first answer I can think of is, “Anything with my best friend.” I know that is not the answer they are looking for, they want to know my hobbies, my interests and the way I spend my time. But that’s all I got. Anything with my best friend.
Sunday I had a date planned with an eharmony guy that had been set for a few weeks. However, his stipulation was that he wanted to facetime with me before meeting. I thought that was a little odd at first, but I was going to go through with it and had planned on doing so the weekend prior. However, that was the weekend of my three dates, and facetiming with someone else, just did not rank high on my to do list that weekend. So on Monday, I emailed him and asked him if he still wanted to go out on Sunday and that we could try to facetime sometime that week. He didn’t write back and so after getting a text from Mr. Go With the Flow, I wanted to make certain that I still had a date on Sunday, because if not, I wouldn’t have to wait until November to meet him. So a few days later, I emailed Mr. Facetime again.
“So I hate to bother you again about Sunday, but are you still wanting to go out that day? I know that it would be a bit of drive for you, so if you can’t make it Sunday, we can re-schedule. I just didn’t want to make other plans until I heard back from you because I already gave you my word I was free on the 12th and wanted to leave it open for you, if you still wanted to get together.”
His response: “You know I did give you my number, you could have texted me. We will see how facetime goes.”
That did it for me. I don’t know why, but I just did not like that response. What was with him and facetime?! I told him I would do it, but what was his purpose? Did he want to see if I was pretty “in person,” did he want to see if we “clicked,” or if I could hold a conversation? I was already a bit worried about this one because he had two pictures in his profile where he didn’t have a shirt on. The captions were about him playing flag football and lifeguarding. But I am sure I could have re-wrote the captions to, “I want to make sure that you know I have a good body.”
How would you have responded? “Listen, I know you are a good-looking man with a good body and I was actually looking forward to meeting you, but until you learn how you come across in your emails and the fact that I don’t feel respected by you, it would be better for me to cancel our date.”
I didn’t say that.
I said this.
“Let’s just not worry about it anymore. I think I have changed my mind. I am truly sorry if I have wasted your time, please forgive me.”
Mr. Facetime was out and Mr. Go With The Flow was in. Well I had the problem of asking him first. I texted him and asked him if he was free on Sunday, trying my best to make sure it didn’t sound like he was just my backup plan. Because deep down, I was glad I didn’t have to wait until November to meet him. I am not sure how my text came across to him, but by the wording of his nickname, you could guess, that he seemed fine with it.
So date number 8 was official.
Throughout the next couple of days, we texted back and forth trying to figure out what we should do on our date. I could tell he was one of those guys that just liked to figure it out together, instead of planning the date himself. I suggested to meet at one of my favorite parks and then figure out dinner from there. However, when Sunday came, it was a bit cloudy and so I suggested we just go straight to dinner. He went with it, see how he got his nickname? He asked me where I wanted to eat and told me he preferred a more laid back setting as opposed to a fancy restaurant, but that he would be fine with fancy if that is what I wanted. I would never have chosen a “fancy” restaurant, not because I wouldn’t want to go there, but because if I am going to assume the guy wants to pay on the first date, I would never suggest a restaurant that is expensive. I typed out three choices, still a bit nervous about prices, and asked him to pick from those. He chose one and we were set.
I asked him if he wanted to meet there or if he wanted to pick me up. As stated in my post from date seven, I am fine with the guy picking me up, knowing I was set up with him by someone I know and trust. He told me he would pick me up and one of us set the time for 6.
When he arrived, I could tell from the beginning that he was comfortable and didn’t seem a bit nervous at all. Right away our conversation was easy and not forced and driving to the restaurant, I felt a calmness come over me. I wasn’t really nervous either, however, sometimes I can’t seem to turn off my inner dialogue and I am constantly trying to make sure my date is having fun. But with Mr. Go With The Flow, I wasn’t thinking about that. I wanted him to have fun, that is for sure, but I didn’t have to think about it, I just had to be. He somehow made that easy for me.
We talked a bit about my blog and he said he read about one of my dates when he first got the link, date number 4. However, he admitted to not reading any of the others, because he felt that was like “cheating on the test.” I thought that was cute. He wanted to be himself and not change who he was as a person, based on anything he might have read from my posts. He said he hadn’t even made up his mind about whether or not he would read the post from our date. Then a few seconds later, he said, “Who am I kidding, I will probably be hitting refresh every 5 minutes.” Not only was he honest, but he was funny. I found myself genuinely laughing – not just laughing to be nice – at some of the things he said throughout the night.
Our mutual friend had told me that he had a daughter and he asked me if I knew about her in a text prior to our date. So on our date, we talked about his daughter often because it was evident that she was his life. One of the things I loved is that I could tell that he wanted to be the best dad he could possibly be. He shared with me that about a year ago, he was re-awakened to his faith and he is now in a process to learn what it means to truly live for Jesus and raise a young girl in a biblical way. He asked me about my upbringing and what events in my life allowed me to stay grounded in my faith. What wise questions from a dad who is really seeking how to raise his daughter to love Jesus. We had great conversations surrounding that. However, I must admit at times, I wanted to be very careful that I wasn’t giving him “advice” on how to raise a child. Because I will be the first to admit, I have no idea, since I am not a parent myself. I just wanted to answer his question and tell him about how my parents raised me. I also explained that in the end, it doesn’t matter how you were “raised.” My mom told me over and over as I was growing up, that she could teach me the ways of Jesus until she was blue in the face, but if I wasn’t willing to accept that faith as my own, none of that mattered. Not sure if that was encouraging or discouraging for this awesome dad. I told him that the biggest factor for me was that I actually SAW examples of what it meant to truly live a life in love with Jesus. I saw it in my parents, I saw it my youth group leaders and I saw it in some of my friends.
When I think back on our date, we probably broke several “dating rules.” We didn’t really have a set plan about what we were going to do until the day of the date, he talked about his past relationship with his daughter’s mom, I talked about some of the other dates I had been on and I had to go to the bathroom twice from drinking so much water 🙂 None of that mattered to me. What mattered was, he was genuine, I was being honest, and we both seemed to be having a great time.
I loved seeing a grown man, newly embracing Jesus’ love and realizing that the ways of this world are meaningless. He made me feel special when he told me that it was rare to find women like me out there in the world. I don’t think I could have received a bigger compliment. I arrived home that night feeling inspired and encouraged and hoped he felt the same.
Later that night, he texted me and said “Thank you for tonight. I have never been on a date where I talked about the things we did. It was great.”
So to that – I say – dating rules should be thrown out the window.
He ended the text stating, “If you ever feel like you would like to go out again let me know.”
So Mr. Go With The Flow, sorry again to keep you waiting and sorry to actually use some of your texts as quotes. I just couldn’t help myself, they were too cute.
This weekend, my parents are in town, they have officially moved down by me. So I am focusing my weekend on them and will pick back up with three more dates next weekend.
22 dates and counting down. Until next weekend.