I have this thing for tall guys. I mean really tall guys, like over 6 foot tall. I am not sure why, but for some reason on the “list” of what I find attractive in a man, I always had the adjective of tall.
One confession that I have to make is that this is not my first time trying out eharmony. Once, maybe about four years ago, right after Christmas, I gave in to the holiday eharmony commercials (and discount) and started a profile. Obviously, I didn’t have success to share with that experience. During that time, I remember distinctly getting matched with guys and the first thing I would look at was their height. If they weren’t over 6 foot tall, I most likely did not respond to them. I know that’s ridiculous, even more so now that I am actually typing it and seeing it written out. I communicated with one guy, I forgot how tall he was now, but I certainly know he was over 6 foot. We sent about 8 or 9 rather lengthy emails back and forth and then he must have lost interest because he stopped emailing me. I was annoyed and decided eharmony was not going to work for me and let my subscription expire and told myself over and over again, I was done with the online dating thing. I tried it once, it didn’t work for me, and that was it.
Interesting how things changed. So this time around, I wasn’t going to look at height. I would glance through their profile, but I would not make any ridiculous judgments about trivial things. I would go out with whoever initiated. Well ALMOST everyone that initiated. We have Mr. FaceTime that didn’t make it to a date, but we at least made it to email stage. Recently, there was a guy that started the initial communication and after skimming through his profile, I noticed something I did not like. His profile said some pretty cool things, like most of the guys that I seem to be getting matched with. However at the end of one of his statements about himself he added this phrase:
“Please have a full body picture. The head shots to hide obesity does no one any favors. It’s like the first lie you tell someone your trying to start an honest relationship with….”
Way to make girls feel great, right there. First of all, I do have a full body shot on my profile, although, not because of the reason Mr. Jerkface stated above. I just liked one of my pictures due to the lighting that happened to have most of my body in it. But that statement offended me and I am slender. If a girl struggling with her weight saw that, I doubt that in any way she is going to think, “Oh, I need to go put a full body shot up there for Mr. Jerkface to look me up and down to see if I am “obese” or not.” Just not a good thing to write in your profile, dude. Either initiate communication with girls you like, or don’t. Don’t ask girls to put a full body picture up! He also happens to have a picture with his shirt off. I am starting to see some similarities when it comes to guys with shirts off. Needless to say, I didn’t even start the first round of communication with him.
I am so thankful that I told myself that this time around would be different. Some guys had pictures that didn’t necessarily show that they were my physical “type” and many weren’t taller than 6 foot, but those aspects no longer mattered to me on my 30 dates. As long as there were no red flags, sorry Mr. FaceTime and Mr. Jerkface, I was going to begin communication with them if they initiated. I am so glad that I did. Because I have met some awesome men, that I might have missed the opportunity of getting to know because of my superficial height fetish.
I was recently interviewed on a radio show broadcasted out of Charleston about love and dating. For those that are interested, I can post the link of their website, once the show becomes archived, but it is not available yet. One of the questions that the host asked me was “What is the most valuable lesson you have learned from this adventure?” I wish I would have told her what I said above. Thinking you know exactly what “type” of guy you want and zeroing in on trying to find those perfect qualities, could keep you from meeting some really awesome men.
Mr. KJWTS (dates 3 and 9) said the same thing to me on our first date. He said he had something against “blue eyes” because one of his first girlfriends with blue eyes broke his heart a long time ago. He said he avoided women with blue eyes for the longest time, until he recently “wised up” a bit and realized what was important, and it was not the color of someone’s eyes. He said he thought I had blue eyes before we met, because some of my pictures on eharmony did look that way. He now knows I have green eyes, but he literally said that a few years ago he probably would not have initiated communication with me because of that very reason. Sounds almost as ridiculous as me not beginning communication unless I saw the number 6 somewhere at the beginning of the height. Mr. KJWTS is 5’11”, and I shared with him that if I was matched with him four years ago, we would probably not be on this date now. We both laughed, realized how stupid both of our thoughts had been, and thanked God we both got over our “things.”
Am I talking about date 3/9 too much, when this post is about date 10?! Okay… so on to date 10. Date 10 was 6’5″, and I must admit, I was a little excited to wear heels on this date. I mean, now was my opportunity.
Before our date, he texted me and asked if he could call me to talk about setting up the details regarding where we would meet. This was the first time I had a date ask to call. I didn’t have a reason for him not to, besides the fact that I had planned nine other dates over email or text, but I figured I would let him call. I am not a phone talker at all, which is why I usually let the guy know up front that texting is just easier for me. However, I knew that his intention was to set up the date, not to get to know each other over a one hour phone conversation. So I told him when I would be available to talk and he called. The conversation went better than I thought and even after we had the date planned, I think we might have talked for about another 40 minutes.
The date was last Sunday and we met for lunch at one of my favorite pizza places. I had chosen the restaurant because he said he wasn’t as familiar with the area, since he was driving in from about an hour away. We met for lunch at 2:00. We sat down at our table and one of the first things that he mentioned to me was that he liked my nail polish color. I thought that was cute, not many people, well not many guys anyway, have complimented me on my nail polish. I said thanks but might have looked a bit shocked that he noticed. He went on to explain that so many guys usually just tell girls that they look nice. So he likes to pick one thing out about them and compliment them on that instead of the broad, “You look nice” statement. I appreciated that and thought it was clever but I said, “So you chose my nail polish?” It was a dark green color, in case you were wondering. He said, well I noticed your earrings and your shoes too (I loved that he noticed my shoes). I told him that I specifically wore heels because I knew he was tall. He laughed and said that one girl that he had communicated with on eharmony asked him in an email, “Are you really 6’5″?” He said, “Umm yes, a guy that is 6 foot 5 inches, doesn’t lie about his height, it’s not like I am really only 6’4″ and want to add in an extra inch for shock purposes.” I laughed and realized I thought he was funny. He was funny and real. There was something about him that I could just tell he was being himself.
After our pizza arrived, he placed a slice on my plate first (very gentlemanly) and we began eating. A few bites in, he stopped and looked at me and said, “Well I at least know you are pretty, what else should I know about you?” Way to slip another compliment in there Mr. 6’5″. As much as I loved the nail polish comment, this one made me really smile.
We talked a bit about our jobs and our families and after about an hour, we were ready to leave. He paid for the pizza, boxed up one piece for me and two for him. Neither one of us had planned anything after lunch, but since he had driven about an hour to get there, I knew we couldn’t end the date so quickly. After taking the pizza boxes to my car, I suggested we take a walk around the State House. He thought it was a good idea as well and so we took off, heels and all, and walked a block over. At one point, we sat on a bench and I enjoyed listening to him as he shared with me about how he mentors high school boys at his church.
Soon, I was getting mosquito bites all over my legs and we had to leave. We walked back to my car, he grabbed his pizza slices and we began our goodbyes. As I was telling him thank you for driving to meet me and for paying for the pizza, he put his box down on the trunk of my car. I could tell he was going in for a hug, but right before he did, he said, “I am going to hug you.” I laughed and thanked him for the warning. We hugged and he told me to let him know if I wanted to ever do this again.
The next day, he texted me and asked if I was going to eat the left over pizza for lunch or dinner. Good job Mr. 6’5″. I enjoy personal texts that have a bit of meaning instead of just generic “Hey, how is your day?” texts. The next day, his text said, “How was your day today?” Oh well, that’s okay, it was cute that he was still thinking of me enough to text me and ask.
20 dates and counting down. Until this week sometime, when I post about yesterday’s impromptu date. I had been debating whether to blog about yesterday’s date, you will see why after I post. But I have come to the conclusion, you all have been in this with me from the beginning, might as well share with you every detail, okay, not EVERY detail, but some details at least 🙂