Mr. Knows Just What To Say and I had our 5th date planned a day after our 4th date. We planned for the day before Thanksgiving and even though he suggested he would come down to my town again, I told him I wanted to drive up to his. I liked the idea of getting away for a day over my Thanksgiving break, since I had nothing else planned. It gave me something to look forward to.
I had told him about these blog posts on our last date and told him the next date we were on I would read him our first date’s post (which was my date 3 out of the 30). So during this date, I did just that. After I got finished reading, I asked him a question. I was not sure how he would answer it, so I was a bit nervous to ask him.
“Would you consider writing a post for my blog for this date?” I can’t remember how long it took him to answer, but I know he said yes. He asked a few more questions about it, like who his audience would be. I told him to just imagine he was writing to my friends. Later on in the date, I brought it back up again to make sure he was still okay with doing it and that he didn’t regret his decision. He said he would still write it, but was thinking he might need to hear the post from date one again, to make sure he understands what kinds of details I put in these posts. I told him I would read him our date 2 (which was my date 9 out of 30) and he seemed excited about that. So I read him that post. Every time I read him these posts, I think that it gives him a boost in confidence. Sometimes I am reluctant to share with him exactly how I am feeling, because I don’t know exactly how I am feeling. But when I read him the blog posts, I think it is clear that I like this guy. I mean, I wouldn’t be on a 5th date if I didn’t, right? That’s what I keep telling myself.
He had bought a few of my favorite snacks and drinks to have in his house while I was there for the day. That might seem like a simple gesture, but it meant so much to me. This shows that he pays attention to detail and he listens. That is evident. He always knows how to make me feel cherished. And sipping my favorite soda and popping jalapeno flavored chips into my mouth, cherished is exactly how I felt 🙂
During this date I did share with him some of my more reluctant thoughts. I thought he might be getting to the point of wanting to make a commitment or something regarding our relationship. I wanted to make sure that we have strong communication and that there are no guessing games constantly going on. I told him that I can’t totally figure out my feelings all of the time and that makes me feel like I am not giving him what he deserves. He told me he understands, and then he said this: “You don’t need to figure anything out right now. I am fine. All you have to ask yourself is, would you rather have me in your life or NOT have me in your life.” I thought for a second and I knew beyond doubt, I would rather him be in my life right now. So I told him that. He smiled and said he felt the same way about me. “That’s all we need to think about right now,” he said. I relaxed and thought how good he was for me, so very good.
Okay, so here is our date 5 from Mr. KJWTS’ perspective. I hope you enjoy it because I am beyond thankful that he did this for me. I realize he is a special guy. I don’t need to go out on 30 dates or need a lot of dating experiences under my belt to realize that.
I was asked if I wanted to write about our fifth date, and so I accepted the challenge even though I can’t match her wit from previous posts.
It was the day before Thanksgiving and I was waiting with great anticipation (as usual) for her to arrive. I still get nervous before each time we meet. Which to me, is a GREAT thing because it tells me that I really like this girl. And like all the dates before, each time I see her, I’m taken back by how beautiful she is.
I wanted to surprise her so I spiked my hair up (like all the cool kids do these days). She didn’t even notice until I said something an hour or 2 later! But she said she really likes it this way, even though I am a bit self-conscious about it as I’m not certain I can “pull it off”. I told her later at dinner that I would have never walked out of my house with my hair like this if I were not with her. Which is another reason I appreciate her, she gives me confidence in myself.
Upon arriving she starting making these sausage rolls, which she brought the ingredients for. This was the first time she has cooked anything for me, and they were so delicious! While they were cooking, we sat on the couch, catching up on things happening in our lives. She is so overwhelmingly busy with grad school work and just general teaching duties that I, in turn, know how much she must value me in order to sacrifice some of her extremely limited free time.
I had asked her previously if she would help me decorate my Christmas Tree, and I was surprised at her willingness to do so. I loved just the thought of sharing that experience with her. So when I asked if she was ready for that, she said she needed to get something from her car. But before she went out to her car she gave me a card. She asked me to read it while she was outside, saying that it’s sometimes awkward to read a card in front of someone. I kinda agree.
So I opened the card and saw she had written quite a lot, and I know I’m a slow reader, so I wanted to quickly read through it before she returned. By now I know she is very deliberate and guards her heart like no other, so in reading those words from her, I know she was sincere and she is growing more and more comfortable with me. Even though I sped through it, I still didn’t quite finish before she came back in. It wasn’t until that night when I was going to bed that I picked it up and reread everything over and over again. Her words were extremely touching and meant 100 times more after reading them a few times and really letting her thoughts soak in. My heart smiles each time I read that card.
When she returned she had 2 wrapped gifts for me just as the card she wrote outlined. The 1st gift I got to open right then, she had written “this 1st gift is so you will think of me when you see it throughout your busy December.” But the 2nd gift would have to wait until Christmas to be opened. She had written “this 2nd gift is so your tree isn’t so empty on the floor.” I opened the 1st gift: It was a Christmas ornament of a huge golden ball with the Riverbanks Zoo & Garden logo on it. That is where we went on our first date. That was extremely sweet and thoughtful. I paused there for a second thinking how perfect that was.
Oddly enough, yesterday I was cleaning out my car and found the Riverbanks Zoo map in the car trash bag. After our first date I just assumed she would never want to see me again, so I had tossed it, but never emptied that bag. So I pulled out the map and showed it to her after receiving her ornament gift, and have now saved it as a treasured keepsake.
I also showed her the text messages I sent to my friend Andrew the morning of our first date at the zoo. Here is the transcript:
Me: “I obviously don’t normally do this, but I have a 1st date this afternoon & wanted to know if u would please pray for us?”
Andrew: “Absolutely! I feel honored.”
And after the date I wrote:
Me: “Appreciate it! It went well. She’s a beautiful girl w/ a heart for Christ. Though if I hadn’t read “Sacred Search,” I doubt we would have ever met. That book really helped me change what I’m seeking.”
Andrew: “Awesome man, glad to hear! So will there be a second date?”
Me: “Yeah, I think so, but she has a busy next few weeks so it might be awhile before we can have that second date.”
We’ve discussed before how Gifts is my lowest love language and how I would love Christmas if it were not for the gifts & shopping. Well, this was the perfect gift, the way all gifts should be. It wasn’t bought because the calendar said so, nor did she feel compelled by tradition, it wasn’t bought because it met a certain mystical dollar amount that made it seem appropriate. She bought it out of the pure intentions she outlined in the card … and that’s why I love it!!!
So with my new ornament in hand, we started decorating the tree. She did a great job helping me by putting up the vast majority of ornaments. I was just happy to be sharing this tradition with someone I cherished.
Next we played a game of Sorry! It is one of my favorite board games, and I know she loves playing games. I dominated in the beginning, but she quickly recovered and ended up beating me in the closest of finishes. That makes her 3-for-3 against me in games. In complete honesty, this is actually really refreshing! One of my favorite things about her is how smart she is. She’s such a rare combination of brains and beauty. I’ve dated too many girls in the past that I’ve tried to throw the game and still won because they just aren’t gifted in that area. But I promised her ONE DAY I will defeat her so she better get ready! It’s coming …
Next she taught me how to play the card game Euchre. And I kept referring to it as “That Yankee Card Game”. I love Spades and while this is similar it is just different enough to screw me up, especially with all the “crazy Yankee rules” like Jack beating Ace. That was thrown in there for no other reason but to make me look silly by forgetting that half the time! Well after she walked me through a couple mock hands with real cards we got our iPads out and played online. We were actually teammates playing against other players online. Sometimes our opponents were actual people playing online and other times we just played the computer. However, because we were sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, she was very deliberate about not cheating, no matter who we were playing against. I really admired that about her. We lost each game we played (mostly because I was screwing up), but we had a great time, and later on, she even told me that was her favorite part of the date.
We then headed off to dinner at Red Robin. It is one of my favorite places to go and a place she hasn’t been to since she was younger. It was a good meal with great conversation, though they did get her order wrong.
Next up (yes, this all happened in a short span of a few hours), we watched my favorite Christmas movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”. I knew it wasn’t even technically Thanksgiving yet, but I never have any guarantee that I would see her again, so I wanted to share this moment with her when I had the chance. She had never actually seen this movie, or at least not all the way through. I bought the colorized version of it, as I somehow knew she would find that more entertaining. I was right! I was hoping she would like it, and I think she did. She even laughed quite a few times, so I knew she was enjoying herself.
Afterwards, I reluctantly let her go as I knew she had a long drive ahead of her. I helped carry some of her things out to her car. After loading everything in the car, she turned to face me with her arms spread out so wide, the biggest invite to hug her to date. For some reason I felt better about her wanting to see me again, so I mentioned something we could do on our next date. Then I added, “… If there is one”. She replied, “There will be!”
-From the perspective of Mr. KJWTS-
And there you have it, date 15!
I have come to realize that we have become even closer after him hearing my thoughts as I read him my posts from dates 1 and 2 and me reading his thoughts from this date 5. Maybe, we are on to something, Do you want a healthy relationship with open communication? Just write about each date from both perspectives and then read each other’s write ups! I am telling ya, it will work. Well, I guess only if the dates go well. For both people. So, wait, never mind, that’s a risky chance. Oh well, carry on.
As Thanksgiving came and went, I reminisced often about my past 15 dates and could not be more thankful of each and every guy that has taken me out and the lessons that I have learned along the way. And as I stated in his card, I am especially thankful for Mr. KJWTS and his patience, encouragement, and kindness that he has shown me over the past two months. I feel very blessed.
I am halfway there!
15 dates and counting down. Until next week.