As we begin the new year, it is quite normal to reflect back on the previous year. During my reflections, I am still blown away that my 2014 ended the way it did. 20 dates in 3 months is ridiculous. At least for me. A year ago, I would never have imagined that I would get such a crazy idea, try it out, and have it actually work – so far, at least. Now that 2015 has begun, I am less than three months away from my 30th birthday. I am now finally able to think about turning 30 without breaking out into a cold sweat, so we are making progress.
My last date of 2014 was with Mr. Knows Just What To Say. This was now our 7th date. Now that you know my story of kissing or should I say, lack there of (see the last blog post – Just A Kiss), I figured I would update you on how that information was relayed to Mr. KJWTS. It was our 5th date and I was at his house (see blog post 15th is the 5th). I was starting to get nervous about the end of our date, even though it was hours away. Most guys would expect a kiss by the end of date 5, right?! My date number 12, Racer Dude had already explained that he usually kisses on the 3rd date. And while I realize all guys and all situations are different, I was thinking date 5 might be the date that Mr. KJWTS went in for a kiss. And I just wasn’t ready. But I didn’t want him to think that I didn’t like him. How was I going to handle this?
On our date 5, we were sitting on the couch, when I finally turned to him and asked, “So, can I ask you a question? What if it takes me a long time to kiss you?!” He smiled at me and said, “What does a long time mean? Like 3 hours?, and he gave me a cute look with a sly little grin. “Or do you mean more like, 3 days or 3 months? or 3 years?!” I told him I honestly wasn’t sure, but I highly doubt it would be 3 years – ha. And then he asked a follow up question that I knew was coming after I brought up the topic of kissing.
“Have you ever kissed a guy before?” he asked.
I let out the breath that I am sure I was holding and told him I hadn’t. And there it was, the question I always wondered myself, was finally answered. Would I tell a guy that I was dating that I had never kissed? After I told him that, he told me that he kind of figured. He said that after our second date, he was showing one of his best friends and his best friend’s wife a video clip of the both of us on our first date at the zoo that we recorded. Afterwards he said to them, “I don’t think this girl has ever kissed anyone before.” The wife said, “Nahh, she is too pretty to not have kissed.” I smiled when he told me that and told him a little bit of my decision regarding the whole not kissing thing. Then I asked him again, how he felt about waiting a bit. He told me he would wait until I was ready. Of course, that was a great answer and what I needed to hear. We didn’t talk about it again until this date.
But let me back up a bit. We had already talked about having our date be on New Year’s Eve, although we didn’t make any definite plans. But then my co-workers and I planned on meeting up on December 30th for an evening of dinner and bowling. As we were figuring out numbers, they asked me if I was going to bring Mr. KJWTS. I smiled and told them I may be able to work something out. So while we were on date 6, I asked him how he felt about coming back the following week for a date 7 with me and my co-workers! His work schedule was pretty flexible over the holidays, so he said he would plan on taking that day off and joining us. I was excited because most of my co-workers have been keeping up with my dates through my blog posts and I have felt their love and support from the very beginning.
Prior to our date, he had asked me what time I wanted him to come to my house. The plan was to meet my co-workers at Mellow Mushroom (a pizza restaurant) at 4:30, so I told him anytime between 1 and 4. He chose 1:00, I was not surprised. The next morning, he texted me and asked me how mad would I be if he came 30 minutes early. I told him that was fine and thought it was cute that he wanted to begin our date earlier than planned. We also talked about still being together on New Year’s Eve as well, since that was the original plan. He asked if I could handle seeing him on back to back days. I told him I could and that my freakout meter had been unusually quiet lately.
As I was anticipating his arrival, I went to the store for some snacks and sat those out when he arrived. As he walked up to my door, he leaned down to pick up a package that had been delivered on my porch. He walked in and hugged me and then handed me the package and said I had a delivery. I looked confused and grabbed the package, knowing I had not ordered anything recently. As I went to get some scissors to open it, he said, “I think I know what that is.” He had ordered another game for us to play and had it shipped to my house that day. The game is called Rush Hour.
Even though it appears to be a child’s game, it is much harder than it looks. It is a logic game and like a puzzle. It reads “ages 8 to adult,” because each card is a different difficulty level. He told me he just played it at one of his friend’s house, whose daughter got the game for Christmas and that the advanced level was even hard for him. He thought it would be fun for us to figure it out together and I am all about some puzzles. So we began our date, eating some snacks and playing Rush Hour.
After a few rounds of the game, we sat back on the couch and I put my feet in his lap. We were on opposite sides of the couch and as he looked at me, he said, “You look beautiful – like always – but I guess more so after so much time has gone by since the last time I saw you.” I reminded him that it had only been just over a week since we last saw each other but I told him that was sweet of him to say, I mean his name is Mr. Knows Just What To Say for a reason. Which reminded me of my blog posts and I asked him if he wanted to hear our date 4 post. I had already read him the posts from our first 3 dates on previous dates, so this time I read him our date 4 blog post. After I finished, I asked him if it was still okay that I was blogging about our dates or if it was starting to make him uncomfortable as we went out more. He told me he was fine with it. I went on to explain that even though several of my friends were reading about our dates, I didn’t want that to influence him to keep seeing me. I told him, “If you ever feel like this isn’t working out between us, please don’t feel like you can’t tell me because you are afraid of letting people down.” He nodded and then a few seconds later he came closer to me on the couch and whispered, “I am not going anywhere” and kissed my forehead.
A little while later, we left to meet my team members. As we were driving to the restaurant, he asked if my co-workers knew about him. I told him that of course they did and not only that, but they probably knew about each one of our dates as well, since most of them kept up with my blog posts. I looked over at him and smiled and he went to put his hand on my knee. However, my hand was there, so he ended up touching my hand instead. He grabbed my hand and then looked at me and said, “Is this okay?” I told him it was and he smiled and said, “Okay, because it’s kind of like holding hands.” “I know,” I told him and smiled back. I didn’t freak out, that was a good sign.
Later, we walked into the restaurant and most of my co-workers were already there sitting down at the table. “Hey everyone! This is Mr. KJWTS!” I used his real name of course and then I turned to him and said, “And this is everyone!” It felt good to introduce them to him. But it certainly was different for me and felt a little weird. Later when we were at our seats, I turned to him and went around the table explaining who each person was and what they taught. I figured, I would give him a quiz over that later. After a few formative assessments first, of course.
We ordered a pizza to split and when it arrived, he put a slice on my plate first. After one more piece for me and a few more for him, we all finished. I got up to use the restroom and on my return, ran into a former student from 4 years ago. As I was catching up with her, I told her, “Look over there, I brought a guy tonight!” Her and her friends secretly stole a glance to our table, where I had left Mr. KJWTS by himself. “Oh, I see him!” one of the girls said and I smiled and said, “It feels a bit weird to have brought a guy.” My former student said, “Good job, I am proud of you!” and went to give me a high five. I laughed and went back to our table. Soon after, we left to go bowling.
During the first game, I think I might have bowled the best game in my life! I usually have a hard time getting a score over 100, but my score was way over that. So I was feeling pretty proud. Mr. KJWTS tried his best to beat me, but unfortunately for him, he bowled one of his worst games. I was a bit amused watching him smile and say “Good Job” to me, although I knew deep down, he was wishing that he was winning. It was one thing to beat him at a board game, but another to beat him at a sport. Wait – is bowling a sport?
During the course of the evening, he would put his arm around me often and at one point, he leaned over and whispered, “You are doing pretty well with letting me touch you in front of other people.” I smiled back at him and was actually a bit proud of myself for that too. We ended our second game, and he won by 10 points, but that still wasn’t something to be proud of because neither one of us made It over 100 that time.
Oh well, you win some, you lose some.
The next day was New Years’ Eve and even though a few days prior I didn’t really know what we were going to do, one of my best friends invited us over to spend the evening with her and her family. I decided to just include both days as my date 20 though, because they happened so close together. So I will be brief with the rest of the details, to not drag this post on any longer.
Around 6:00, Mr. KJWTS and I headed over to my friend’s house. I have been over their house hundreds of times, but this time was definitely different because of bringing a date with me. However, as different as it was, I was looking forward to introducing him to them. We ate dinner shortly after arriving and then spent the evening watching a few fireworks and playing a game. We both really enjoyed our time. I am usually the 3rd wheel, or 5th wheel or 7th wheel, so it felt good to have an even amount of wheels for once. We left around 10:30 and went back to my house to finish out 2014.
When we got back, I went to the kitchen to get us some drinks and began silently wondering if he was expecting a New Year’s kiss. My freakout meter may have slowly started to rise. We hadn’t talked about kissing since the day I first brought it up. Was he going to be mad at me or disappointed if the night didn’t end like most couples’ nights? Wait, were we a couple?
While I was in the kitchen, he came up behind me and hugged me and kissed the top of my head. I turned around in his arms and asked him how his patience was holding up in regards to still not kissing. He smiled and asked me, “So what is a kiss to you? Is it just a kiss or does it mean more?” I explained my thoughts to him, a bit better this time, and asked him if he understood where I was coming from or if this was too hard for him to comprehend. I was not apologizing for waiting, but a part of me did feel badly for him, knowing most likely he would have gotten a New Year’s kiss if he was with any other girl. But, he told me that he understood me. Then he kissed my cheek and said, “I would wait forever.” Then after kissing my cheek again, he said, “Well maybe not forever.” I laughed and we headed to the couch to watch the ball drop.
When he left my house, he said, “Well, if you want to see me again, we will have to wait awhile.” He had already told me that he would be out of town the next few weekends. I answered him with “Of course, I want to see you again.” But I think he already knew that. He held my head and said goodbye and said, “I will miss this face the most.”
Almost immediately after he left, I began to miss him, so I wrote him an email of the things that he did while we were together that I loved. One included how easily he interacted with my friends and co-workers and another one being how respected I felt that he wasn’t giving me a hard time about waiting to kiss. I went on to list several more things as well.
When he got home, he wrote back and a part of his email said this:
“I can’t tell you how incredibly touching this was that you wrote this for me. I will certainly treasure this! Neither of us know if/when this journey will end, but my goal is to leave you better than I found you and to let you feel a minuscule glimpse of Christ’s sacrificial love for you. I didn’t do any of those things you listed to make you love that action or aspect of me. I simply enjoy making you happy and seeing you smile gives me some mystical fuel that gives me energy and desire to make you smile again. That is something that I’ve never experienced before, so to me, that is what is most special about you.”
I am starting to feel a bit weird writing about my dates with Mr. KJWTS because the more that we start to like each other, I am thinking people may not want to read all of this “lovey dovey” stuff. I never would have imagined that 7 (and counting) out of my 30 dates would have been with the same guy, so I am not so sure how to handle this.
But thanks for taking this journey with me thus far.
10 dates and counting down. Until I schedule a date with those “January guys” that I talked about in my date 17 blog posts. But no more dates until I finish a GRAD school paper. Because writing blog posts is unfortunately just way more fun.