Mr. Knows Just What To Say (you knew this post would be about him again, didn’t you?) and I both have March birthdays. Mine is at the end of the month – not like I needed to remind anyone, I have been counting down since September – and his was last weekend. I am particularly fond of birthdays, however, Mr. KJWTS said he didn’t really look forward to his. It might have to do with our age difference and the fact that he is now closer to 40 than 30. Regardless of how excited he was, I had to figure out his plans. Did he want to spend his birthday with me? Or did his family get together? Did he want to go out with his friends? I still wasn’t sure I knew him well enough to predict what he wanted.
So on our date 11, I asked him what he normally did for his birthday. He said his niece’s birthday was the same day and so sometimes his family would get together to celebrate. I nodded and our date 11 ended shortly after. Then on our date 12, his birthday was brought back up again, probably by me because I am a planner, although he seems to be one too, since he told me he was already planning something for my birthday weekend. I asked him if he had plans with his family yet and he said he didn’t. I then told him I would drive to him for his birthday, if that was what he wanted. He said that sounded good, although I felt a bit self-conscious and felt like I just invited myself. I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t alone for his birthday.
The plan was set and I spent the next week trying to figure out a birthday present. He has told me multiple times that I don’t need to get him anything, like for Christmas and just in general. Therefore I knew that he wasn’t expecting a birthday gift, but of course, I wanted to get him one anyway. A few days went by and I got an email from a ticket sales website with reminders about new events and venues. The email was an advertisement for a pre-sale for a particular comedy show and it just happened to be one of Mr. KJWTS’ favorite comedians! He had shown me some youtube videos of him on a previous date. I looked closer and got even more excited when I saw that the event was going to be held in Mr. KJWTS’ city! I knew this was my answer for his birthday present, even though I would be spending much more than planned. He was worth it though and I hoped that these tickets would make him feel special. The only down side was that the event was not until August. The optimistic side of me, hoped we would still be together. I took a deep breath, a bit shocked that I actually desired to still be with him in August, and I bought two tickets, one for him and one for me.
A few days before our 13th date, we were texting back and forth after an overwhelming day on my end. He said, “hopefully I can help you recharge/relax this weekend.” I asked him if he still wanted me to come and he responded with, “Uhhh, yeah, ABSOLUTELY! Why would I not?” I told him, “I just needed to hear you say it.” I needed to make sure that even though I felt like I might have invited myself, that he really did want to spend his birthday with me.
Right before this date, I went and got my highlights re-touched. I decided to liven things up a bit and add some pink streaks in my hair. I have done this once before and I loved it. My mom is not particularly fond of the style, but I have already received several compliments. It only lasts a few weeks and it’s nothing too extreme, but Zena (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Zena-Salon/191894064153945), my hair stylist, always knows exactly what I want – classy but with a little edge.
While I was getting my hair done, I inquired about where to buy a small cake or cupcake to take with me. Zena asked if it was someone’s birthday. I said yes and my mouth stayed open to explain whose birthday it was, but I began stumbling over my words. “It is a guy…I have been seeing…well, I mean…dating…I mean, I feel weird calling him my boyfriend, but he kinda is, I think..,.” and then I just told her the whole story. She found it pretty interesting and said she would be interested in reading about it. As I sat under the dryer, I sent her this blog link. Which brings me to say this, thank you to every person that has encouraged me throughout this whole process and taken the time to read these blog posts. Your comments, messages, prayers, and texts mean the world to me. And I feel like this whole experience has been much more enjoyable, taking you all along with me.
I left the salon feeling much prettier with some fresh highlights, ran a few more errands, changed into some pink pants to match my newly pink hair streaks and then was ready to set off to hang out with…
my boyfri…the man that has captured my attention since September. I might not exactly know what title to give him, but I do know that I wouldn’t have wanted to spend my weekend with anyone else.
Here I am on the way, taking a selfie at a stop sign in my neighborhood, because I always forget to take a picture prior to my dates with Mr. KJWTS lately.
When I arrived, he greeted me at the door and I immediately told him happy birthday. I gave him a cupcake and a birthday card and left his present in my car for later. He told me he liked my hair. I don’t know if he noticed a difference or he was just saying that out of obligation because he knew I was getting it done that day. After turning on a light, he noticed the pink and said he didn’t see that at first, but he really liked it. We began discussing our plans for the day and since it was great weather, he decided to show me around the campus of where he attended college.
There was a walking trail right off the campus, so we spent the next couple of hours walking there. At one point, he reached over and touched my hair and said how much he liked the pink streaks. He said, “It makes you a little bit punk.” I laughed. After awhile, both of us were getting pretty warm, I had not worn the appropriate walking shoes or clothing and I was getting hungry. So our walk ended shortly after that and we drove to Qdoba to eat. Halfway through line, I realized that I left my purse in the car and that I was the only one eating, so I felt really badly about assuming he would be paying. I said something to him about it and he said that he didn’t mind paying for me, but I still felt a bit awkward. We went outside to sit and I cut him part of the burrito to eat.
After we ate, we weren’t quite ready to go home and back indoors, so he took me to a small park right off a lake. Sitting there I thought back to his text from earlier in the week about helping me recharge. Sitting on the bench, with my feet over his lap and his arm around me, relaxed is exactly how I felt. He has told me multiple times that he enjoys being around me because it is just “easy.” And I agree with him. My weeks are usually crazy and in the past, I would spend the majority of my weekends by myself, trying to recoup and rejuvenate before it started all over again on Monday. But when being with someone is so easy, it is refreshing. I always leave my time with him feeling re-energized. Being an introvert, someone who gains energy by being alone, I was surprised that this was the case time and time again. There had been instances where I used to think that maybe my personality meant I wouldn’t get married one day – maybe that is why I hadn’t found anyone to date in over a decade. But now I know otherwise. When you find someone who is easy to be around, marriage seems like much more of a reality.
When we got back to his house, I went to my car and brought in his birthday present. He said, “You didn’t need to get me anything,” and I smiled and said, “I know.” I had wrapped the printed tickets in a box and after he opened them, he seemed very surprised and grateful. I told him about the show not being until August and that if we were still together, I would go with him. Then I said, “But if for some reason, we aren’t, I am giving you both the tickets right now and you can take someone else.” He laughed and I secretly hoped again that we would still be together, because if we weren’t, I am not sure he would want to take another girl to a show with tickets that
his old girlfriend a girl he used to go on dates with had bought him. And I really didn’t want those tickets to be wasted.
He thanked me for the gift and then leaned over to kiss my cheek. I told him that since it was his birthday, he had to choose where we ate for dinner that night. After thinking a bit, he told me he would rather just avoid the wait and stay in and suggested maybe we go pick something up. I suggested pizza and he thought that was a great idea.
After picking up the pizza, we got back to his house and watched a movie while we ate. At some point, dancing was brought up and he made some sort of remark that made it seem like he didn’t dance often or that he wasn’t sure he remembered how. I had thought the same thing when I was at the Father/Daughter dance a month ago. I smiled and he said, “Come here for a second, let’s see if we know how.” He pulled me to my feet and I instructed him where to put his hands, although I think he already knew. We went back and forth for awhile and I said that we needed music, thinking it might be more romantic with that. He said, “Well I can just sing,” and then out of all of the songs he could have started singing he started with, “Bow Chicka Wow Wow…” I literally threw my head back and laughed and said that was not what I had in mind. So he started singing some other song, which I can’t even remember now. It lasted like 2 seconds and then we laughed and sat back down again. One thing I noticed on this date was that we laughed at each other quite a bit. There were many times I would make a joke or say something sarcastic and he would really laugh hard, which would get me laughing. I can’t even remember what I would say to him, I just remember the joy I felt when he would laugh at me. My dad always told me I was a funny person, but I thought that was just because he was my dad.
The night ended shortly after, especially because the time change was not in our favor this time. We had been together when the time changed in the fall as well and I mentioned that to him. We reminisced about that date and then I also brought up the fact that we have spent several holidays together. We had been together over Thanksgiving break and then Christmas break as well. We were together for New Years, Valentine’s Day and now his birthday. We also have plans to spend my birthday weekend together. However, there is one more weekend in between that, which is a good thing because I need to get in three more dates.
I guess spending the major holidays with each other is what people in relationships do. And maybe one day I might even feel comfortable calling him my boyfriend, even if it takes until August.
3 dates and counting down.